D+A (6.12.09)

Jungian analyst Robert Moore talks about how the four archetypes of the Self (King/Queen, Warrior, Magician, Lover) are powerful, amoral, jealous and potent. It is important to stay vigilant of them so that they do not rule our lives from the shadows, which results in chaos and destruction. Rather, it is our responsibility to recognize what each brings to the table and how their energies can be both helpful and harmful in our quest to become fully integrated human beings. Each embodies qualities/abilities that are essential to acting appropriately and effectively at certain moments, so it is important to be able to access or "tap into" these archetypal energies when needed.

However, Moore warns that we must do so with great caution and respect for the strength of these forces. Each one wants to be your sole possessor. Therefore, if we are immersed in the energy of one archetype we become either ineffectual and one-dimensional or destructive and uncontrollable. It is the responsibility of the self (not the Self) to discern when each energy is needed and how to incorporate it judiciously.

As I've reflected on my own self, I see how areas of my life suffer due to my lack of integration of these archetypes. The Queen and the Warrior are the two weakest. I've been inviting the Warrior energy out of my subconscious for the past month and have noticed some improvements not only in my actions but in my thought patterns as well. It is becoming easier for me to make things happen, accomplish goals, and accept conflict.

During a related discussion with my parents last night, my father pointed out that my struggle with organization and self-criticism were evidence of a lack in Queen energy. Thus, as I fell asleep last night I attempted to summon her from the depths of my subconscious with the mantra "Your Highness, my Queen, show me who you are, bless me with your energy." Now, this sounds crazy, I know. I think it is important that I clarify that I was not thinking of this as a prayer so much as a psychological exercise; I do not view these archetypes as gods. I do, however, understand them as various facets of the one God and therefore feel it is important to address each with reverence. I then had the following dream:

It is summer time and I am going to visit a....friend? cousin? I am my current age, 25, in my current body but there is an innocence and purity about me that puts me more in the internal consciousness of a 12 or 13 year old from the 1940s or '50s. I arrive at this white house in the middle of a field in the deep south. The house is two stories and very plain and simple in structure. There is a medium-sized rectangular pool in the field next to the house with a small diving board at one end in the shadow of a massive oak tree. This tree is the only tree visible in the entire landscape.

The girl I am visiting is about 11 or 12 years old, with a scrawny figure, mousy brown hair and gray eyes. She lives with her father (or step-father?), who is emotionally removed or perhaps even abusive. I know he loves her but he is also afraid of her and therefore keeps her on a tight leash. I know that this girl has amazing magical powers. She is somewhat aware of these powers, but keeps them hidden from others and often from herself.

After I arrive, I put my bags in the third-story attic where I am to stay for the duration of my visit. There is a small cot by a tiny octagonal window that overlooks the pool. After unpacking I kneel on the cot and look out the window, where I see the girl in her bathing suit walking around the pool and looking into it. Her faceless father is lounging in a lawn chair nearby, watching her. I put on my suit and head down to join her. I want to get her to have fun and play with me, so I get onto the diving board and smile at her. I say "Watch this!" and do a swan dive into the pool. When I resurface, I encourage her to join me. She is shy and nervous, but she finally decides to venture in.

I then try to get her to play a game of tag, but she is so timid that it ends up just being me tagging her and swimming away while she giggles and I move in for another tag. Then we go underwater and a more reciprocal game ensues, the goal of which is for us to eventually kiss. She continues to resurface for air, but to my delight I discover that I do not need the oxygen. Once I realize that I can hold my breath interminably, I attempt to breath naturally underwater and find that I can not only do that but also talk and sing and walk and glide with ease. I know that the girl is able to do this as well, she just doesn't realize it. I am trying to show her, but she continues to go up for air. Every time I get close enough for us to kiss, she impishly grins at me and returns to the surface.

Now it is night and I am up in my attic room. A gentleman caller arrives at the house to see the girl. He is around her father's age, and I know that this rendezvous is arranged by her father as a way of keeping her unaware of her power or unable to access it. I don't know what exactly is going to go on between the girl and this man, but I know that it is sinister and is another form of this girl's enslavement. I think to myself how sad her situation is. I know that if I can get her away from this I can make her see her potential and the incredible power she holds. As I resolve to do something about it, something to rescue this girl from her predicament, I wake up.

Interpretation to follow, after further reflection...