Mourning The Unborn Dead

I have always had a passionate adherence to the sanctity and dignity of life. I've never hooked a fish or shot a deer or even squashed a spider without a silent apology, at the very least. Many times, a silent prayer is in order, and on occasion I've even performed some form of death ritual for the slain creature. For while I firmly believe in the circle of life and the food chain and such, I also acknowledge that every creature, no matter how small or slimy, is a creature of God.

For this reason, among others, abortion has no place in a truly human society. The very thought goes against nature and it betrays the invaluable gifts of reason and insight that we possess above all other beings. Abortion is a violation of human rights, a misuse of our scientific advancement, and a disservice to society.

Given my feelings on this hot-button issue, I was looking forward to reading Mourning The Unborn Dead by Jeff Wilson for my Buddhism in America class. Wilson was a graduate student of my highly esteemed professor, Dr. Thomas Tweed. Due to his impressive educational background and top-notch mentoring, I began reading with high hopes of his respectful portrayal of a subject close to my heart.

The book investigates the Japanese Zen ritual of Mizuko Kuyo, which honors the bodhisattva Jizo, the patron saint of travelers and children. Women who have committed abortions or undergone miscarriages perform this ritual, guided by a priest, to ask for forgiveness from Jizo and their unborn fetus, as well as seek protection from the moral and spiritual ramifications of a terminated pregnancy. Around the late 1980s, the ritual slowly made its way to American Zen communities and has since been adopted by some Evangelicals and Catholics.

The traditional Japanese Zen ritual is linked to the importance of family, as well as a strong belief (some might say superstition) that the ghosts of the aborted fetuses will cause misfortune to their mothers and their extending family members unless they make amends. Thus, the women who participate are motivated primarily out of fear for the well being of themselves and their families (at least according to the majority of academics who have studied this area). The ritual is also viewed as misogynistic by most scholars, since all the blame for the unwanted pregnancy lies with the mother, who is often told that she is dirty and evil, while the father of the child is absolved.

However, the way it has been adopted by various Buddhist appropriators in the U.S. omits the legends of hauntings and ill-fortune and focuses primarily on the mother's need to ritualize this very real, very profound act she has committed. It was while reading Wilson's descriptions of these adapted rituals that I began to see the author's thinly veiled contempt for the pro-life movement.

Both Evangelicals and Catholics decontextualize the ceremony in order to suit a Christian agenda. And while it is true that Evangelicals often view it as a more punitive ritual, both aim to help the mother memorialize her unborn child, forgive herself, and reunite her with God (for guilt and shame prevent us from accepting God's love). Feminists have also advocated the ritual as a way to remove the taboo of abortion and ease the mother's residual, "perplexing" guilt.

However, Wilson's language in describing the Christian appropriations of this memorial rite is at times subtly pejorative and at others outright smug and condescending. What's even more disturbing is that he presents as fact his assertion that the underlying cause of Christian interest in this ritual is to perpetuate a misogynistic tradition of subservient women in the social and religious structure of the faith.

Now, I realize that most authors in academia have an agenda, and obviously they are entitled to such. I object not to the author's prerogative to assertions, but more to his dishonest portrayal of religions. He presents only the facts that support his covert arguments and omits evidence that weakens them, all while claiming a purely objective desire to discover the "truth" about this ritual and how it is reshaped in America.

On a side note, let me just say that I reject wholeheartedly the idea that having the right to an abortion liberates women. Any woman who is fully in touch with her womanhood, with her full humanity, does not feel liberated after committing such an atrocity. Many intellectuals and progressives cite archaic societal and cultural programming as the agent of guilt and shame felt by women to choose this path. The fact is, only when we fully embrace our responsibility of being both creature and spirit, both instinctual and reflective, can we be free. Killing your unborn child rejects both natures.

My Personal Goddess

After informing my best friend that I had started a blog, he naturally inquired as to the significance of Persephone and The Pomegranate. I gave a very brief run-down of the Greek myth followed by a somewhat contrived rationalization, and as I did I realized that ultimately I am not completely sure of the exact reason for my choice. I am not completely sure why I chose to make Persephone my handle for other bulletin boards, websites, and email addresses, why I feel attached to her as both maiden and goddess, and why viewing certain artistic depictions of her myth feel like looking in a mirror. Yes, Persephone as Queen of the Underworld I get....sort of....because I do have vivid dreams that I enjoy analyzing and I am fascinated by psychology and archetypes. But I don't feel like this totally explains the kinship, and thus there must be something else going on in my subconscious.

To help me explore further, I read the "Persephone" chapter in Bolen's Goddesses in Everywoman book. EEEK! It freakishly describes me almost to a T. A lot of it was humiliating to read and I felt, during certain passages, my cheeks burning in shame. But it was also very hopeful and I feel that, due to my past experiences and the work I've done in the last couple of years, I am well on my way from Persephone as Kore to Persephone as Queen of The Underworld.

Lots more work is yet to be done in order for this transformation to happen in full, and I was relieved to find that Bolen outlines avenues for the growth that Persephone women must do in order to outgrow their maidenhood without completely losing their youthful disposition. The most hopeful line in the chapter is, "The most formless and indistinct of the seven goddesses, she [Persephone] is characterized by a lack of direction and lack of drive. Of them all, however, she also has the most possible routes for growth."

The Zen Doctor

Last week, I read a chapter from "Zen Buddhism and Psychoanalysis" for my Buddhism in America class. In it, D.T. Suzuki, who was profoundly instrumental in bringing Zen Buddhism to the West, discussed the differences in Eastern and Western philosophy and religion. He compared two poems to illustrate his point: a haiku by Basho and a poem by Tennyson. Both poems involved the poet's reflections on a flower. In Basho's haiku, he merely describes the scene of the flower on the fence and leaves the reader to make of it what he will. Tennyson, on the other hand, picks the flower and examines it up close in his hand, thus destroying it to sate his intellectual (and perhaps spiritual) curiosity.

Suzuki goes on to talk about how Eastern perspectives influence the way the Chinese view work. This is when I found myself really intrigued. When Suzuki begins to discuss the peace and pleasure the people of China find in even the most menial labor, the skeptic in me said, “oh yeah, I’m so sure!” His description sounded overly romanticized to say the least. Upon further reflection, however, I began to see how this might be possible.

For example, I had a personal crisis several years ago and had to leave college and move back home. While living with my parents I worked as a bookkeeper for my father’s dermatology practice to keep me busy and pay the rent. My life had just fallen apart, I was under great emotional stress, I was living in a small town that I never liked, working long hours for mediocre pay. Plus, I hated math.

Then, with a lot of coaching from my dad, I learned to stop asking “why,” stop bemoaning my situation, and just accept it for what it was – to “live in the now,” as my dad would say. The steady routine of waking up at 5, cooking breakfast for the whole family, going to work, then exercising, cooking dinner, drinking a glass of wine, reading, and going to bed (only to wake up and do it all over again) actually began to agree with me. I found an inner peace and center of gravity, and nothing else mattered. Did I like my job? That question became inconsequential. My job just was, my life just was, and the peace it brought me made what would otherwise be mundane at best..... enjoyable. Now that I’ve returned to school again, I’ve gotten away from that routine and life is much more difficult. I appreciate this article because it has reminded me of this other way of being – the way I was being while my dad was slipping me small doses of Zen in disguise.