D+A (5.3.09)

I haven't had time to analyze these, and I'll have to do a lot of thinking before I develop much of an interpretation. Any ideas are encouraged. I'll return to them later. For now, I gotta get to my Buddhism homework.

1. I arrive at a hotel with my mom and Travis. We check in and then change for dinner. Once in the grand dining room, my mom begins hysterically telling a story. She's speaking way too loudly, flailing her arms about and
invading the personal space of other diners. Travis and I are trying to get her to be quiet, sit down and behave, but she's either oblivious or blatantly disregarding our pleas. It is humiliating.

2. I am a dancer in a cabaret show at a hotel in Vegas. I am about to go on stage with my fellow dancers when I realize that I am wearing the wrong bra under my risque outfit. As I race back to the dressing room to find the appropriate push-up, I get lost in a maze of hallways and doorways. I see a gift shop and run in to buy a bra there, because I am running out of time. I stumble over bookstands and leap over shelves of merchandise, but cannot find what I am looking for. I then see some women entering the elusive dressing room and run to follow them. Just as I get there the hallway changes and I go in the wrong door. I am still running from door to door looking for the right one while thinking that I've probably missed my cue. I decide the baby pink brazier I'm wearing is not ideal but it will have to do.

3. I go back to the Berkshires to visit my former fellow patients. It is cold and snowing and very industrial - turns out it's Nazi Germany. Now, I know the history is not accurate in this dream, but bear with me. In this context, the world is still under the impression that Nazi Germany no longer exists, but the truth is, as I discover upon arrival, that the Nazis are still running Germany in secret and have fooled the world into believing their collapse. I first see Marissa, my narcissistic, possessive former friend. She begs me to go to dinner with her that night, and I agree. Next I see Susan, who is a 42-year-old patient with Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality, and Attachment Trauma. She's a mess in real life and a mess in my dream. She begs me to take her to an appointment and then to dinner later. I tell her that I'll give her a ride to her appointment and then we can go to coffee, but that I already have dinner plans. She agrees. I drop her off at a large factory building and wait out back for her in my little blue car. I roll down the back window and lie across the back seat so I can stare at the sky and day dream in the meantime. A guy named James (he was a nerdy boy I went to elementary school with - he was still a little nerdy in this dream but there was something edgy and worldly about him at the same time. I could tell he knew a lot of things I didn't from living in this country) spies me and comes over to my car to say hi. He asks me to go hang out with him. Susan at this point comes running out from the building in hysterics and demands that we go somewhere so that she can confide in me and be comforted. I tell her that she'll have to take care of herself, because I gotta go with James. Maybe I'll see her later, I say.

4. My cousin Jackie, James and I decide to go for a walk in the woods late at night so that he can show us the fallen Berlin Wall. I am under the impression that he knows it is safe for us to do so, and I don't feel nervous about it. The wall is a series of tall pillars connected by many strands of barbed wire. In some places the fence is dilapidated or the wire is cut. It's located on the side of a mountain that has tiered levels. The top, where the fence is located, has deep, powdery snow and we sink to our knees with each step. The next tier consists of hard, icier snow. The bottom level is somewhere in-between. There is a stream that is illuminated and runs along the bottom level. On the other side of the stream is a small bank and a raging black river. James leaves us at the wall and runs through the trees to the middle of the mountain. There is moderate moonlight, but not enough for us to see him. Jackie says "Good thing there aren't any guards along here." Just as she utters this, James' grim-toned voice calls through the darkness "What was that? Did you say guard?" He says it in such an eerie manner that it almost seems like he's planned for us to get caught. I turn around and coming through the darkness on the opposite side of the wall (which is a flat, snowy plain that stretches for miles) we see a flashlight moving toward us. It's a Nazi guard, and we know that if we get caught it is very, very bad. Jackie and I run down to the middle where James is standing and then all three of us flee to the bottom. We begin running alongside the stream, but I know that the guard will see our footprints easily and will catch us in no time. I exclaim that there must be a place to cross the stream somewhere, and just as I do the stream narrows and I spy a small ice bridge that extends halfway across. First Jackie then James jump onto the bridge and over to the other side. Each slips a little and gets a foot wet in the process, but they seem unharmed. I jump across and the exact same thing happens. Once on the other side, however, James jumps into the stream, which is waist deep. I think to myself "Oh, that's what we're doing? Then why didn't we do this a long time ago? And how are we not going to freeze to death in that water??" But I decide that I have no other choice, and I'd rather die in the stream than at the hands of the Nazis. I jump in and am surprised to find the water is actually quite warm. James attempts to swim upstream, and I mimic his attempt. However, it is quickly apparent that the current is far too strong and we'll have to swim with the current to make our escape. Jackie leads the way, followed by me then James. We go along for a bit, and then I hear James swear in a hushed tone. I look up to see a small wooden bridge over the stream with a huge woman guard (when I say huge, think Helga the shot put world champion or Ms. Trunchbull of Matilda fame - see above portrait). She's garbed in a black trench coat and combat boots, standing on the platform and using her flashlight to examine a map of the mountain. Jackie is standing right below her on the other side, frozen in fear. James and I go under water and attempt to swim under the bridge but discover that it's too low and and there's not enough room to fit. I put my hand on the side of the bridge to prevent the current from sweeping me into it but remain under water. James is on top of me and I am looking up through the water just waiting for Helga to look down and spot us. I am holding my breath, but I have have the feeling that I could hold it forever, or as long as it took for her to catch us.